i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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