she told me i tasted like america
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize