Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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