I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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