My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
