first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
