where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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