he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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