I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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