i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
