Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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