it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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