Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize