The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
