just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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