Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize