im holly from the hills drunk
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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