it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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