I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
