he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
