So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
