youre lurking in front of me
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
