And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
