So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
