Im at strip club and am horny
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
