I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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