mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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