Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
