I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
