maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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