38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
