I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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