Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Your penis caused this!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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