So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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