She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
