Small penises have feelings too.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
