Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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