Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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