This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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