So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
