She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
