Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
