I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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