I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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