Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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