She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
