We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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