Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You smell like stripper and shame
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
