Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
