you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize