guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
