No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Send help, water and tortillas.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
