hell yes lets make some ravioli
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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