Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
