Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
