We won't sleep together?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
