Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
