i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
