How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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