hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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