Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
